…because there is no way – THIS would happen without it turning into a traumatic experience for all inv0lved if he wasn’t.

Jack and I had set his trains up during Colin’s morning nap but then Jack decided he needed an early nap as well (hear me complaining?).  When Colin woke up he quickly realized that there was no big brother around to scream bloody murder the second he glanced at a train.  This was the first time that Colin just wanted to play with the trains and not tear apart, chew on or otherwise destroy the set-up. 

Colin cruised all around the table repeating his high-pitched, ”doooo, doooo” (chooo, chooo in one year-old speak).  It was truly adorable.  I wished I had gotten it on video.  Yes, it’s that cute!

“How big is Colin?”  This was Colin’s one-armed response of “So big!”.  We are still working on balance, so a one handed response was good enough for now.

Man, has this been the longest week ever and we still aren’t to Thursday!  Oh well, tomorrow I get to log my first official weigh-in.  I am anticipating greatness, people! 

I went to a yoga class last night with Bree and really enjoyed it.  This morning I am feeling muscles in places I never thought existed.  People who don’t think yoga is a work out are stupid! 

In starting this lifestyle change I have had to come to grips with a few things that are just facts that I can’t beat myself up about anymore.  For starters, I cannot – and I do mean cannot do traditional exercise.  I have a hard time putting that out there because my head then starts assuming everyone will look at me and say “oh, the fat chic is making excises again for not exercising.”  Truthfully, I have physical ailments that prevent me from doing normal, traditional exercises and I need to admit that and move on to what does work for me.  Yoga seems to really be that exercise.  Sure, right at the very end when I was laying flat on my back, my hip went out of it’s socket and I almost yelped loudly during a very peaceful moment.  Luckily, I contained my agony and laid there until I could roll over and manage to get to a standing position.  But – I made it through!  I think Yoga will help me to become stronger overall, which is what I need.  I don’t care if I have a sculpted and toned body – I just don’t want to be in pain all the time. 

My sister suffers from a disease called EDS (can’t spell the full name) which is a disorder of her connective tissue.  It affects all of her joints and is causing her body to deteriorate at a very rapid speed.  She is 36 years old and is already wheel chair bound.  It is sad to watch but has also made me hyper aware of my body and the fact that I likely have many of the symptoms of this disease (it’s genetic) but on a FAR lesser scale.  I have had chronic back pain since I was 12, my knee and ankle joints hurt almost everytime I stand from a laying or seated position.  This has been true whether I was 40 pounds lighter or not.  Granted the pain was less when I had less to carry around (another reason to lose this fat) but it was there. 

I am praying that Yoga will be the answer I have been praying for.

Actually, it’s only been  3.5 days back on the “wagon”.  I have been offered cake three times, pizza twice and wine once - and I have none!  Honestly, though – lately my problem hasn’t been the food I eat – it’s the food I don’t eat.  Alan and I work very heard to have mostly fresh, whole grain, organic, preservative-sugar-HFCS-crap free food in our house.  If there were crap in my house, I would eat crap – and  lot of it!  I know I would – and so would my kids.  I am proud of the choices that we are making for our family and I hope and pray that our kids will grow up healthier for it.

However, you can have all the great goods in the house that you want to buy but if you don’t make the time to eat them – they don’t do a lot of good!  I was literally drinking a cup or two of coffee for breakfast (of course while feeding the kids their nutritious breakfasts) and then around 10:30 after Colin was down for his morning nap I’d realize I needed to eat something (still not feeling hungry) so I would grab an organic cereal bar or banana.  Lunch time would come and I would feed the kids the most nutritious meal I could make with the food in the house.  Then potty time-book time-nap time would come.  By now it’s about 2:30 and guess who STILL hasn’t eaten?  ME!  Seriously?  I am not doing this on purpose – I don’t believe in not eating – I LOVE FOOD!  So about 2:30 I might throw something together – usually just a glorified snack because I didn’t want to eat too much so close to dinner – right?  Ugh.  Problem is that when dinner time comes, blood sugar starts to crash and Mama is HUNGRY – and Mama eats!  Mama eats too much, usually.   This cycle does NOT make for a healthy metabolism!

What have I changed so far this week?  I have started making protein smoothies in the morning which fill me up and are easy to sip on as I check email, edit pictures, corral kids, wipe faces etc.  If I put a little extra ice (or frozen berries in it) I can sip on it most of the morning keeping me full and satisfied.  Around 10:30 I have a snack of some kind.  Lately it has been one of these amazing Zucchini-Carrot muffins I made (3 WW points and full of veggies and fiber!).  That keeps me going until lunch time and is fast because it is there and ready to go.  Lunch comes around and I am really not too hungry because I have done a pretty good job of sustaining myself so I have something small – but healthy.  My problem hits when I realize that I have had lunch and dinner time is an eternity away.  I see this as a good problem, though, because what it means is that my body wants food again!  Already 3.5 days into my lifestyle change – I can literally feel my metabolism revving up!! 

For that mid-afternoon rut I love carrots!  I can eat 10 baby carrots for 0 points and they give me tons of crunch!

Then for dinner Alan and I have been trying to cook meals with high protein and fresh veggies etc.  I am still eating my largest meal at the end of the day – it is really just the only way for me right now but I have started making some real changes and I can feel it!

On the evening of Day 2 I told Alan – while literally fighting back tears – that I actually had energy for the first time in MONTHS!  I honestly wondered if I was starting to sink into a depression again but really it was my body being mad at me for not feeding it!

This has been a great week so far!!  Alan and I sat down and actually planned out meals for the week last night with me counting all the points to make sure we were making the best choices. 

For now, I am excited, invigorated and empowered!  Talk to me in a couple weeks, though because  I might very well change my tune. I know that there will be ups and downs but I’m ready!  Attic clothes – get ready!

This post, and subsequent lifestyle change, have been a long time coming!  It is time for me to focus on ME for a while and get my life, body and health back on track!  I feel like I was seriously derailed with having kids.  I recovered somewhat after having Jack and then tumbled off a steep cliff after having Colin.

Sure, I could make ALL sorts of excuses like, “who has the time?” or “I’m just too tired” or “I’m working two jobs simultaneously,” etc, etc.  All of those “excuses” are true – but dangit  - I’m done with them!

I have a serious issue with weight, dieting, losing weight, keeping it off etc.  I look at some people that need to lose a few pounds, so they just load up on protein and fruit for a couple of weeks and it melts off – that AIN’T me!  It is truly HARD for me to lose weight.  My body hangs on to it like a famine is about to hit. 

I should start by going back to high school.  I was a STICK – I mean tiny!  But being in high school with all the pressures that go along with that, I also developed an eating disorder.  I won’t go into that – it is what it is – but it shaped a lot of my self-image and also, I believe, my struggle with losing weight now.

I have done Weight Watchers more than once.  The first time I was a WW rockstar!  I lost 40 pounds before my wedding and was so happy with my body and energy level.  Well, then I was married and happy, going out and enjoying our new life.   The pounds slowly crept back. I was up 30 pounds when I got pregnant with Jack – during which time I gained 40 more!  I was terrified of the fight I knew I would have, but I was really banking on the whole “breastfeeding just melts the pounds away” part.  Well, not for me!  Again, they clung to me.  I kept repeating to myself what so many had told me, “it takes nine months to put on the weight and it will take you nine months to take it off.”  Well, you know what?  It did!  On Jack’s nine-month birthday I was back down to my pre-pregnancy weight!  Yes, I was ecstatic to be back to being only 30 pounds overweight!  

At that point I was still working full-time and made at least one failed attempt at WW again.  Then when Jack was 18 months old – I got pregnant with Colin.  The fear of the weight gain and struggle to lose it again came back.  I tried to turn that fear into eating healthfully for both me and the baby, however.  That pregnancy, I gained only 30 pounds and took that as a major victory!

Between baby and nursing I dropped 20 of it almost immediately.  Those pesky 10 pounds have hung on ever since.  I am still in my “fat” clothes that I bought after Jack’s pregnancy (and swore I would only need for a short while).  Because of that, I haven’t bought clothes in AGES - except for a couple of special occasions where I HAD to have something – because I hated the idea of spending money on clothes that I didn’t plan to wear for very long. 

Well, 14 months later, those temporary clothes are getting pretty darn worn out and I am getting pretty darn fed up!  As a result, yesterday I recommitted to my WW lifestyle - and I am determined to get back on track!  Honestly, I don’t know if I can/will lose 40 pounds, but I don’t care.  This isn’t really about a number to me anymore – it about being happy again.  It has been a very long time since I have been happy with my body and felt energetic.  I’m not asking for pity – again – it is what it is.  Yes, I KNOW I have two kids and also a growing career that take whatever energy I have, but I am tired of making them my excuses too!

In future posts I will talk about how I am going to go about all of this.  This is simply Day 2 so I have a lot to figure out.  I have a lot of baggage to unload about my misconceptions about body image etc.  Lord knows I know HOW to eat and what to eat – my problem is simply eating!  My metabolism is SHOT because I haven’t been finding the time to eat. 

So, step one is EAT!  HAHA!  That usually isn’t the first step in a weight loss plan – but it is for me.  After 2 days of forcing myself to eat healthy meals at regular times - I feel AMAZING!! 

Please pray for this to continue!  I am the Queen of derailed attempts – rather WAS the Queen – but this time will be different.

Yes, I am desperately behind on this poor blog again.  Summer has been busier that I expected with both photography and chasing after the boys!  I’ll update with mostly pics since that is what I know best!

We started out our 4th of July with Red, White and Blue pancakes prepared by the amazing Alan! 

Next, I had a hankering to do something very “4th-y” since I hadn’t really been feeling it this year.  This is my second favorite holiday and I was just not in the “holiday spirit”.  We looked online and found a good old fashioned, small town parade in old downtown McKinney – a northern suburb.  It was so cute and quaint.  Despite Jack’s grumpy – “leave me alone” face, he had a really great time and still talks about it!

Later that evening we met back up with our friends – the Schultzes and had a refreshing time in their pool.  They had a 3rd of July party the night before which we went to, but again, I was in a funk so we went back over with pizza in hand on the 4th to relax!  We did see fireworks both nights but sadly they were from afar.  We still had great views but it just wasn’t the same as being right under them and feeling the rattle of the BOOM in your head.  Next year for sure! 

On the 5th we ventured over to my cousin’s new house and enjoyed their community pool.  It has a great 6 inch inclined area as you get in so Jack was super comfortable since he could be in the pool without being held.  I have GOT to get that kid in swimming lessons, pronto!  I just wish I had more options for watching Colin so I can take him.  Oh well – I just really need to make it a priority.  Now that he will be in the pool for a little while without SCREAMING his head off – I think we can start to get him swimming.  I am more concerned with him knowing how to save his own life should he need to than actually swimming at this point. 

YAY for summer!

I have the amazing blessing of staring at these gorgeous boys all day every day.  Man, it’s a great job!

I love it that even when Jack is trying to get his way or *gasp* be manipulative – THIS is the face I see.  It just kills me!  I love how he adds syllables to words that he is learning like when he used to say “Thomas the Tanken Engine” or now when he says “Limeanade”.  We do what any good parent does and instead of correct the mistake, we use the proper words as often as we can but then get a little sad when he starts saying things the right way.   I love that he loves babies and if they are crying he will go up and say “coochie, coochie, coo” to them until they laugh.  I love that he still needs to cuddle with Mommy a little after his nap and get a little sad as the cuddle time shortens a tad each day.  I LOVE when he says “I love you, Mommy” totally at random and “just because”.  Most of all, I love that he loves God.  The other day we were leaving the house and were running late.  I was in a very crabby mood and was not being the most patient mom in the world.  In the midst of us racing to the car and my constant “HURRY UP, JACK!”, he heard a firetruck siren.  He stopped in his tracks and said, “Mommy – stop!  Let’s pray!”  I LOVE THIS KID!!

Colin!  My baby!  I love your chunky thighs!!  I love that you were so patient with Mommy as we figured out how to chuck you up and give you your “beer gut”.  But I also love how sweetly and happily you nursed for 7 months.  It was our special time.  I almost can’t stand your constant smiling and excitement at just about anything.  I mean, what kid is THAT happy all the time? I love your amazing red hair and brown eyes.  Man, I hope the red stays!  I also love that it looks like you might be getting little curls in the back.  I love that you are starting to finally use your signs.  Your favorite is “all done”.  Of course you sign it by waving your arms like a bird trying to take off – but I get it and it’s adorable!  It might not seem like it, but I love it when you call me “Na-Na”.  You can use your own words, it’s ok!  I adore the fact that you think my camera is just HILARIOUS and will smile and laugh when ever I get it out!  Man, you make my job easy!  I love the instant smile and joy that comes across your face whenever I sing “You are my Sunshine”.  You have been that way since I can remember.  You are a precious child of God Colin!

Wow, Jack really did it – he earned Toby’s Windmill!! 

Ok, so there might have been a TEENSY bit of help from Mom.  I searched and searched for a used one but it was no where to be found so I settled for a new one on sale – $10 off – on Amazon.  In the end I learned a valuable lesson here too.  I learned that I need to not encourage him to save for such large purchases ($30) AT THIS AGE.  He worked and worked for Toby’s Windmill but because of the cost and his lack of understanding of how much a dollar is worth, he started to lose interest and had a hard time keeping his eyes on the prize.  I need to encourage him to work towards smaller goals so the reward comes a little quicker.  I am NOT all about immediate satisfaction but at three I think he needs to see results a little quicker to really get the point. 

Am I way off on that?  Please tell me if you think I am.  Seriously - I am trying to raise a hard-working, selfless kid here – I need help!!

Since this was a first time thing for us we kind of made up the rules as we went.  First rule was, you have to start and finish a job before any money is given.  Second rule was that he would not be paid for any job that involved him cleaning up his own messes.  For example – he must clean his own toys up every night, help make his bed, clean his room, he helps take dishes to the sink after he eats etc.  I believe that there are things you do as a member of the family that you should not be paid to do.  He was paid to do jobs that Mommy or Daddy would ordinarily do like watering the plants, picking up sticks before Daddy mowed, helping bag grass, sweeping the kitchen or living room etc. 

I think he really *got* the idea that Mommy and Daddy aren’t going to just buy him every little thing he wants and more importantly that he is not entitled to anything other than parents that love him, a roof over his head, food in his tummy, clothes on his back (used at that!) and a God that loves and adores him unconditionally.  Toys and *stuff* don’t concern God in the scope of eternal life, but he does listen to and know the desires of our hearts.

And in this case – He heard Jack’s cries for Toby to finally have his windmill!

Together at last.

I’m proud of you bud!!  You EARNED that!!

You’ll be next C-boy!  Won’t be long until we put you to work too! LOL!

Oh, and I wanted to mention that a month or so ago Jack and I cleaned out his toys and filled a huge bin.  He wanted to give them away to kids that didn’t have toys.  Well, the bin has been in the garage all this time waiting on Mommy to figure out where we would take them.  Today, sadly, the perfect recipient landed in my inbox.  A family at Jack’s preschool lost their entire house and all of their belongings this week due to fire.  The family has three kids- 2 girls, 6 and 4 and a 2 year old boy.  We feel so blessed to be able to give our toys to this family and try and give them a small shred of joy in this horribly hard time.   Kinda makes a windmill seem silly, doesn’t it. 

I also plan to donate my income this weekend from my photo sessions to them.  It isn’t much, but we have more than we need and it is the least we could do.  Lord, be with them and show them your peace and mercy.

Knowing that Jack moved out of his crib at 20 months, Alan and I knew we still had some time to find bunk beds for the boys but, being the planner that I am, I started looking early.  Every week or so I would read down the list of used bunk beds on craigslist.  I saw a few I really liked but didn’t want to drive 80 miles to look at them, a couple I LOVED but couldn’t afford and many that were just downright tacky.  Since I wasn’t in a hurry, I could wait for all the pieces to fall into place to find just the right beds for the boys.  I happened to look again on Friday night when I couldn’t sleep and found a set that were near-by, looked solid and sturdy and were in our price range. 

We went and looked and were happy to find that although they were 10 years old and a little scuffed up, they were solid as a rock and real wood!  We haggled a bit and got a better price too – which is always a plus.

Alan wanted to set them up right away, so we set to it.

You might remember Jack’s old day bed.  Poor kid had to sleep on this girlie day bed for almost two years.  I think he survived with little to no long-term damage.  This bed was a pre-Jack craigslist find when we needed a bed for our then guest room that didn’t take up too much space.  It was then turned into Jack’s big boy bed. 

Jack wanted to help Daddy take his old bed apart. 

Here is the big boy testing out his new bunks! 

Before you go on – notice the ceiling fan in the above picture.  ACK!  Yes, it does overlap the bed and does come dangerously close to the head of any person on the top bunk.  We will be replacing that fan soon with a flush mounted fan with shorter blades.  You can breathe again.  In the meantime, Jack will still sleep on the bottom bunk and is NOT allowed up there when that fan is on – or for that matter when Mommy or Daddy aren’t in the room.  Yes, the ladder is safely hidden for now.

Jack did a great job navigating the steps on his way down

Of course Colin had to give the bunk a test drive too.  It was a hit!

Jack had to scope out how far Colin would have to reach to get him.  I think Jack is safe for now!

I had to get one shot of the whole bed, bedding and all.  I am not sure when the beds will be this tidy ever again. 

I asked Jack to lay down and pretend he was sleeping. 

He is such a great actor!  Admit it – you thought he was zonked, didn’t you?

Then there’s my Colin – still happy to be chillin’ in his crib for a while longer.  As much as I don’t want my babies to grow up too fast – I can literally taste the day when I can send that crib packing (another craigslist find)!!  I can’t wait for all the extra space!

Oh lordie – where have I been?  Poor blog – you have been so patient!  

Where have I been?  Well, here: http://emilymelsonphotography.wordpress.com/ for the most part.  It’s been a busy but fun start to spring – oh, wait – it’s summer already?  Dang, I AM behind!

I guess you know that Colin turned one – I’m not THAT far behind. 

I actually had to look at my calender just now to make sure there wasn’t any big major event that I was missing over the past month – and as I suspected there wasn’t.  I have just been that busy with work.  It’s a good thing, though!

Jack has started summer camp at his preschool.  So, really, it’s just preschool but three days a week instead of two and since he moved up to the three year old class there are no naps.  NO NAPS!  Did you hear that?  NOOOOOOOO naps!  Ugh.  Jack is such a napper but more than that he is a slave to his schedule – whether he will admit that or not, he is.  He is used to napping 2-3 hours in the middle of the day where as now we get home from camp around 2:30 and it is the biggest fight ever to get him to lay down in his bed and often he doesn’t fall asleep until after 4 which means he wakes up around 5:30 or 6 and wants to be up until 10 at night.  Ugh. 

You might say, “well, dim-whit Emily, just scrap the nap and maybe he will go to bed earlier”.  Yes – I have considered that.  My response would be – would YOU like to please come to my house and take care of my wild banshee of a three year old who hasn’t napped all day while I cook dinner, care for Colin, edit pictures and stay ‘generally’ sane?  Didn’t think so.  It isn’t pretty. 

Not sure what to do.  I’ve considered forgetting summer camp so as to not go bald before fall (Alan tells me it gets chilly up top in the winter) but this is the same school he will be going to three days a week next school year and the three year old class doesn’t nap then either, so I might as well get him (and us) used to it, right?  As an aside – what three year old class doesn’t NAP??  Ugh.  If I didn’t LOVE this preschool so much I would just go to the one 2 blocks from my house that we could walk to everyday – but alas, it is a great preschool despite the no napping.  (I mean, really? Nevermind – I’m done)

You might not believe me but I have taken very few pictures of my darlings this month – no, seriously – I haven’t.  However, so I don’t forget what they look like and so that they won’t go to therapy later in life for thinking I didn’t love them between May and June of 2010 – we went to the park and snapped a few the other night.  It was a nice night.  Who am I kidding?  It was a hot and sticky night – as most are around here, but we went anyway. 

As you may recall – the above picture is my younger son, Colin.  I know, it’s been a while so I thought I should catch you up.  He is the sweetest child on the face of the earth and possibly the entire universe.  He crawls faster than Jack can run away from him and will pull up to standing when he is really motivated (i.e. he sees Mommy’s cell phone in the middle of the coffee table).  In the past couple of days someone has taken the lead out of his feet and he has started to think about placing one foot in front of the other.  He has only done it a few times but I think he is starting to clue in to the possibility of a new form of mobility (i.e. new ways to torture and annoy Jack).  Colin LOVES blueberries and blackberries.  His Mommy who has to wash his poop out of his cloth diapers does not.  That is all I will say about that. 

When Alan gets home, Colin will race over to him yelling “DA!  DA!  DA!”  He will, on occassion, when it isn’t too much of a bother refer to me as “Na-Na”.  He doesn’t want to be burdened with having to close his lips to make the “M” sound.  Who can blame him – that’s hard to for anyone.  I will say that when he sees me in the morning or when I go get him from his nap – I do get MUCH bigger smiles and arm flapping than anyone else does!  I’ll take it, for sure! 

Poor Colin (I often refer to him not as Colin, but Poor Colin as he often has to play second fiddle to big brother, Jack) rarely gets bathed (kidding – no CPS calls, please) and sometimes I don’t even change him out of his jammies, but he knows he is loved and adored by all that see him!  Who can miss that insane RED hair?  We love you, baby cakes!

This is my Jack.  What CAN’T he do?  He is pure genius, I tell you!  He can tell jokes, do magic tricks, use words like “indignation” (I had to spell check that, by the way) and “dignified”.  He will tell you exactly what bad choice he made to deserve the chosen consequence.  He can write his own name, although it’s backwards – he can do it!  We are working on that.  Jack can also count to 50 – and likely farther if Mommy had the patience to keep going.  Jack can spell any word when looking at the letters and read the words “Jack”, “Colin”, “STOP”, “woof” and “meow” (and maybe a few more I am forgetting).  The other day he actually sounded out the word “A-VEE-NO” correctly when I was putting sun screen on him before camp. 

This child also has the memory of three elephants and misses NOTHING you say – so be careful!  He will bring up something you said in a whispered tone to someone in another room a month after you said it.  Ok, maybe that’s a TINY exaggeration, but you get my point.  And, as many three year olds are – he is firmly in his “Why” and “What’s that” stage.  Basically he NEVER stops talking!!  God Bless him!

His favorite toys are still his Thomas trains followed VERY closely by his racecars.  He knows about 3 NASCAR drivers by their car and loves to watch the wrecks on TV.  That’s MY boy!  He is just starting to really dig legos and since he had all of 8 of the Duplo blocks, I took pitty and bought him a small box.  He will sit for a long time building carwashes, garages and of course – Texas Stadium! 

I could go on for hours – I love these boys.  They are the light of my world and make every day happier and brighter.  You’d be hard pressed to find a happier or more blessed Mama!  Ok, I know we all say that – but you get it.  All you mamas know what I mean. 

Thanks for being patient with me.  I’ll try to not stay gone so long next time. 

I have been putting this together for several months now but, OF COURSE, totally forgot to post it on Colin’s birthday!  Typical!

Here is my sweet baby boy’s face over the last year. 

So I often have GRAND plans – LOFTY goals.  Sometimes they work out, other times – not so much.  Luckily I have friends that take pity on my grand and lofty short-comings and pick up the slack.  So you might remember this post: “With all my free time” where I talked about being inspired to MAKE something again.  Well, as you saw – I bought all of the materials and had it all planned out to happen before Jack’s 3rd birthday. Nope, didn’t happen.

But that was OK because I could make it for Colin’s first birthday!  Oh, that was perfect!  I had PLENTY of time to do it – three months in fact.  No problem!

This is the point where I am glad I have friends that can look at me and be honest with me.  They can tell me, “Emily, you won’t do this – as much as you want to, it just isn’t going to happen.”

That friend was Bree.  Sadly, she was right but LUCKILY she is super crafty and told me she would “help” me make it.  The second she took my little bag of supplies, I knew there was no “helping” me do it. 

Bree is AMAZING and stitched and glued together this adorable “Happy Birthday” banner that my kiddos will love for years to come!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course now I don’t want to take it down because it is so cute – so they might just enjoy it for years to come!  

I have to say – I just adore my little family and our circle of loving family and friends.  I have had so many emotions this weekend regarding our family from our new phase as a non-baby family to the level of completeness I am still unsure about.   It is a beautiful thing to see babies grow and learn, but can also be heartbreaking to start to let them go.  In the end, though – it is all such a blessing to know we have been given this gift; the gift of raising Our Father’s children!

Saturday was so much fun as we threw Colin his first birthday party!!  It was a grand ‘ol time with kids and adults alike.  Colin also got his first taste of sugar!!  Much to my mother’s dismay, I didn’t limit his intake, either.  I gave him his smash cake and let him go to town!  After a little bit of hesitation it wasn’t long before Colin was double fisting the cake into his mouth! 

Other than the blue poops (and need to sun bleach his diapers) the next day – he was no worse for wear! 

Sunday morning was Colin’s actual birthday.  His Gamma had been dying to buy something pink for the boys and has shown great restraint in not turning my boys into little girls but she finally found the perfect “manly pink” for Colin!  I figure since he is one now he can be strong enough in his manhood to wear pink!  I think he looks great in it!

After church and naps we decided to have a sunset picnic at White Rock Lake.  I LOVE picnics and this one was extra special!  I had told Alan that this was all I really wanted for Mother’s Day – a picnic at White Rock Lake, but it couldn’t happen last week.  I was happy to share my Mother’s Day gift with Colin’s Birthday!  What a special night it was. 

We then went on a little hike around part of the lake.

I just L.O.V.E. late evening sun in the Spring.  It takes my breath away.  Thank you LORD for late evening springtime sun.

Jack soon discovered that there was a small path just next to the paved one and it had horse hooves in the dirt!  After that we HAD to walk on the horse path and, of course, he HAD to be the line leader. 

My dear husband amazes me daily with his love and devotion to his family.  I thank the Lord daily for him. However, some days he simply blows me away when he takes pictures like this one!  Seriously?  He says it was an accident.  Dang, I wish I could “screw up” more often in my photography!! 

Best weekend EVER!!  Thank you Lord!

So this morning it was time to go outside and water the herbs so Jack could earn his commission for that for the week when he said to me “Mommy, I have plenty of toys – I don’t need Toby’s Windmill”.  Wha – Wha – WHAT? 

For a moment I thought this was just an attempt to get out of his chores, but sure enough, he is outside right now watering all the herbs and plants. 

Kinda makes me want to go buy him that windmill now – but OF COURSE, I won’t. 

Crazy kid.  I ‘heart’ him.

On May 16, 2009, I woke up around 3:30 a.m. with very obvious contractions.  I was 39 weeks pregnant and had been feeling the baby very low in my pelvis all week.   The contractions were noticeable enough that I had to grip Alan’s arm and rock back and forth.  I have to rock or move to pain, or else I just can’t stand it.  It is a sensory distraction, I guess.  I continued to have a few heavy contractions about every 15 to 20 minutes. 

 I don’t know if I was excited – or just thinking I shouldn’t bother going back to bed since I knew I would wake up again soon with another contraction – but I got up and started surfing around on the computer while bouncing on my birthing ball. 

 Around 5 a.m. I noticed Alan’s cousin Lindsay was on Facebook; I am not sure if she messaged me or I messaged her, but we started talking online.  She had been up nursing Robbie and wondered what I was doing up.  Of course I had to tell her that I might be in labor, but assuming this labor would be another marathon like my last I asked her not to say anything but to pray. 

 Soon enough, Jack and Alan woke up.  I was still having pretty sporadic contractions but they were picking up a bit in intensity.  It was a rainy day, so I couldn’t go walk around the block to see if I could get things going; instead, around 11 a.m. I suggested that we all three go to Target so I could walk.  We did a little shopping and the contractions all but sputtered out.  While we were there, Alan’s sister called and asked if I wanted to meet her at the mall.  I told her that I was having some contractions but that I might want to do that so I could get more walking in.  My only fear was that I would be in the middle of the mall and start having massive contractions. 

 On the drive home from Target, the mother of all contractions hit.  I was sitting up and not able to move – the worst position for me to labor in.  Jack was in the back seat and was very concerned for Mommy’s moaning.  I guess I was pretty loud, because I think Alan got a little nervous.  When we got home, we immediately put Jack down for a nap not thinking that we would be having the baby anytime soon. Alan’s parents were setting up for a party at their house that evening, so we didn’t want to ask them to take him. 

 The next few hours kind of run together.  I had my first major contraction around 12:30 (the one in the car), and they were still fluctuating in intensity, duration and time apart.  I was texting back and forth between my doula and my midwife.  They were giving me advice on some things to do to speed things along.  Because things were so sporadic no one thought it would be any time soon.  Around 1 p.m., I told Alan he might want to start setting up the birthing tub – you know, “just in case”.  He was having some trouble getting it inflated, I remember. 

 Around 2 p.m., I started to take this labor seriously.  I had been in and out of the shower several times trying to relax and let hot water run on my back.  By about 3:30, my contractions were intense and very regular.  At one point I had to get back in the shower because I felt like they never ended or another one started before the last one ended.  It was intense.  Around that time I called Elizabeth, our Doula and photographer, and told her to come.  About this time is also when Jack woke up – I think we all forgot that Jack was still sleeping in the next room!  Alan immediately ran out the door with Jack and pretty much threw him into the arms of his parents who had a house full of people. 

Elizabeth arrived just before Alan left, and she worked on getting the birthing tub filled while running back to me with every contraction to roll a ball on my back and talk me through the contraction – all the while taking pictures!  She was amazing!

 Honestly I don’t remember the exact time I called Amy and told her this was for real, I think it was around 3:30 or a little after.  Again, it’s all a blur.  I remember at one point being crouched down on my knees with my head laying on the edge of my bed and telling Elizabeth that I felt pressure and her response was “I bet you are!”  At that point I finally started to think this was real.  Yes, I was just then thinking this was real.

Alan raced back into the door and by 4:27 Amy arrived after I had been in the tub for a short while.   Being in the warm water was amazing!  When people say it is like a natural epidural, they are right!  It was heavenly!

Amy immediately checked the baby’s heart rate and me for dilation.  I remember grunting to her, “I only want to hear good news!” Her response: “Is 7 centimeters good?”  I said “I would have preferred 10”.  I told Amy that I was feeling pressure, and she told me that if I felt like I needed to bear down a little with the next contraction, I could.  That helped so much, because I felt like I had been really tensing up and that allowed me to release that pain and tension.   I had at least one more massive contraction just after that, and then my water broke.  I immediately had the most insane urge to push.  Seeing as two minutes before she said I was only 7 centimeters, I was afraid to push – but the urge was uncontrollable.  Amy said it was fine, so I did. 

Amy then checked the baby’s heart rate again and we both heard the same thing – or rather, lack thereof.  There was a VERY slow heart rate.  Amy immediately told me to get out of the water and into the bed.  I was in the middle of a push and somehow between Alan, Elizabeth and Amy they all levitated me into my bed.  After about one and a half additional pushes, Colin Gabriel Melson was born at 4:59 with his cord wrapped around his neck.

 Amy told me that I was about 5 to 7 minutes away from having the water birth we wanted, but with Colin’s heart rate, we didn’t have 5 to 7 minutes.  Praise the Lord for Amy’s quick thinking and calm determination.  She is truly amazing. 

 So, I tell people that I feel like I had about a 3-hour labor, but in all it was about 14 hours.  Granted, many of those hours were not intense at all, so I didn’t really even consider them labor.

 When Alan and I decided to have a home birth, there were many factors – but one of the most important catalysts was the need for our privacy.  I really felt like I needed to kind of do this on my own.  I just didn’t realize how much “on my own” I would do!

 This experience was the most exhilarating and empowering times in my life.  I felt like I was high on life for a long time after that birth.

 Colin started nursing almost immediately, and ate like a champ!  Alan went to get Jack very soon after Colin’s birth.  To see the look on his face when he saw his baby brother filled my heart with the purest love.  It was beautiful.

 For the next several hours family and friends stopped by to meet little Colin.  It was so wonderful to be in my own home in my own bed.  That night Colin wasn’t too interested in nursing so I put his sweet warm skin against mine and threw a blanket over both of us.  We slept like that for about 6 hours.  It was heavenly to wake up with my precious newborn asleep on my chest.  He then nursed beautifully. 

We had more family and friends come over that next day.  Jack had spent the night at Alan’s parent’s house and being a Sunday he went to church with them also.  When he got home that afternoon he and Colin exchanged their gifts to each other and we all settled in as a newly formed family of four!

All photos (except last one) taken by Earth Mama Photography

I’ll just say it – I did not have sound financial guidance while growing up.  As a result I have made mistakes that I am still paying for now, literally.  I won’t get into details but there was a lot of crap in my head about money and what was actually responsible and sound before I met Alan.  Like a fungus, my horrible ideas about finances and debt started to grow on him too.  We dug an even deeper hole for ourselves early on in marriage.  That is until we “met” Dave Ramsey.  That man may have saved our marriage – or at least our home.  Now, we weren’t THAT bad off – but if we had not changed our ways and had continued to live the next 30 years like we were, it would have been THAT bad.  I am a cheerleader for Uncle Dave, oh yes I am.

So, Alan and I are back on track.  We have our emergency fund, we are snowballing our debt, we have a pretty solid budget, we live off mostly cash, we haven’t touched (NOT ONCE) a credit card in over two years – we are pretty much rockin’ the Dave-o plan.

My main job now is to not repeat the mistakes of my upbringing and instill a sound financial core into my own children.   I want them to have a prosperous and abundant life that they have earned and worked hard for.  I desperately want that for my sons.  That all starts now and it starts with Jack.  Yes, I know he is just three but he is already realizing that there isn’t this magic fairy that floats down and buys all the toys he wants.  He knows things cost “money” – whatever that is.

Luckily, I don’t have to figure this all out on my own.  Luckily, Uncle Dave has a plan for me to follow.  I am stealing this next part directly off daveramsey.com.

Start paying them a commission for chores they do around the house.

Typically, one dollar per completed chore is sufficient with a list of five or six chores each week. Remember that each child is going to respond differently. Just keep evaluating your child’s maturity level and make sure their chores are age-appropriate.

Do not give them an allowance.

After all, what are you making an allowance for? You don’t want to have the kind of kids who think money grows on trees, do you? Don’t set them up for frustration and unrealistic expectations. And don’t miss out on the teachable moments that come when you give them a commission instead of an allowance.

Send them off to work.

Child abuse is letting a kid sit in front of a TV all day playing video games and eating junk food. Kids need to understand what a little dirt under the fingernails means. Delivering newspapers, mowing lawns, or working at a concession stand are some appropriate jobs they can handle.

Ok, so I can easily start with those first two bullets.  I don’t know how much success I would have with Jack working at a snow cone stand right now.  We have talked to him about earning rewards already, so he gets that.  Now we need to help him understand the idea of earning money.

Jack has his heart set on getting Toby’s Windmill for his Thomas the Train set.

Ok, fine – it’s cute – but it costs upwards of $40!!  Sure I can find it cheaper or better yet used on craigslist, but still – this sucker ain’t cheap.  So this Mama put her kid to work!  If he wants this, he has to EARN IT!

This kind of started on a whim, so I haven’t put together a detailed plan yet, but basically I will give him small chores for him to earn money towards Toby’s Windmill.  Understandably, he doesn’t yet get the difference between $1 and $40 so after one chore he asked if we could go out and get the windmill!  My plan is basically three fold: 1) help him to understand the value of a dollar and that hard work is what it takes to get anything or anywhere in life but also 2) that after all that hard work, the money might be a little sweeter left in the piggie bank and not spent on a toy.  That 2nd one will have to be his choice because I really can’t expect (but I can hope and pray) that he will have the realization that after doing ALL that work he might not want to blow it all on one little windmill.  Who knows, the kid has surprised me before. 3) Most importantly my kids need to know that we are simply stewards of God’s gifts and all that we have is because of Him so we also need to be responsible with how we use those gifts. 

For all you dedicated Dave-o followers, yes, we have talked about giving and saving too.  He actually got a gift card recently and he had to spend 10% of it towards a gift that he could donate to a child that was less fortunate.  I think he got more joy out of that than buying something for himself.

Chore #1: helping plant herbs with Mommy. $1

He really gets into this because they recently planted a vegetable garden at his preschool.  Afterward he was asked to water the herbs and even the grass a bit.  (I think he might have watered himself a little more, though!)

Chore #2: working in the yard with Daddy. $1

He was asked to pick up all the sticks in the yard, help Daddy sweep and do some other things to get ready for Colin’s birthday party this weekend.

Chore #3:  Watering the plants in the yard, daily.  $1 per week.

This one is super fun for him.  I barely turn on the hose so he can water to his heart’s content.

After all that work, he deserves fun playtime too!

If he chooses not to do a chore on a given day, that’s ok – but he doesn’t get his commission for it- and he REALLY wants Toby’s Windmill!

I am sure many people would think I am mean and that I should just buy my kid the stupid windmill – trust me, I know there are some of you out there.  Well, that isn’t what I want my kids to learn.  I am so proud of the two days that Jack has been working towards his goal.  It is such a blessing to see him embracing this new way of thinking about “stuff”.  Sure, we have to redirect him multiple times per task, but he is excited to be doing things that are useful and productive.

I’ll keep you updated on the windmill.  He actually already has about $12 in his piggie bank so far, but after tithing and setting some aside for long-term savings, we have a little ways to go before poor Toby can get his windmill, but I am pretty confident it will happen!